you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
