It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
