Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He felt like a one man threesome
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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