im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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