too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
