cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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