How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
