I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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