I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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