i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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