FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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