it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
