I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
