She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
