At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
