What did we do last night that was yellow?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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