I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
