my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
