I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
