My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
