Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
