Please, let me fuck your mom
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
