nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
