apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
