the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
