I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
