Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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