The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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