I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
