I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
