Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
