When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize