who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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