can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
