they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
