I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize