Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
