you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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