There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
