she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
