I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
