theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
