break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
