he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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