my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
