Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
