The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
