just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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