Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
