Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my shit smells like andre
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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