i permit you to call me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
