FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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