this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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