you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
