If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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