I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
