Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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