so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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