Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
