My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
