so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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