super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
All the doctor said was why
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
