A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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