and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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