Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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