I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
