i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
