I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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