I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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