I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
