I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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