What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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