he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
